She won't say to whom, but Nicole Kidman says she was secretly engaged after her divorce to Tom Cruise and before marrying Keith Urban.
"I didn't really want a relationship," the 40-year-old actress says. "I just wanted my kids to have me, and I didn't feel comfortable having some person in that small hubbub.
"And then I got engaged to somebody ... but it just wasn't right," she continues in Vanity Fair magazine's October issue, on newsstands Sept. 11. "I wasn't ready. We weren't ready.
"I get engaged and I get married — that's my thing," she says, declining to reveal her former fiance's identity. "I don't want to date. I'm interested in a very, very deep connection."
Kidman, who married country singer Urban in June 2006, says she has no regrets when it comes to her marriage to Cruise.
"My agents told me, `Once you become Mrs. Tom Cruise, you do know your career is going to die,'" says Kidman, who won an Oscar for her portrayal of Virginia Woolf in 2002's "The Hours."
Kidman hopes to have a baby with Urban.
"I'm yearning to have one," she says. "I think I would be very sad if I wasn't able to have a baby. Keith knows I want one, and he has been getting there slowly."
